new glasses, dyed hair, signed apartment lease, passed interview!

exciting stuff. so anyway, on another subject.. i was reading some of my poetry the other day cuz i was pretty bored.. apparently i'm way better than i remember being. i really liked some of it. i feel like some is a bit extravagant language-wise but.. i'm not too bad at all. i especially like this one. so i figured i'd share. i mean.. it's my blog after all. i'll post whatever the hell i want! so. now presenting...


"the hummingbird."
much like the hummingbird, my dear

zipping off to here or there

& i don't know if i should stop

& land for then i might have to

think of what i've done & do

to you & us & me & they

& if i do i'll end up gray

perhaps in blue i meant to say.

i rush from place to spot & back again

for time i've lost & when

i land my stop is brief to be sure

hurting isn't what i seek

from me or us or you or they

& surely i'll hold them at bay

if only i will not slow down

& keep you coming round for me.

a mile a minute for all the hours

in the day but when i sleep or dream

a million fright'ning dreams & toss & turn

& cannot speak

& so i flutter by again & touch the petals of the daisy

oh how i'd be your shining sun

if not the clouds so hazy.

so dream a little dream of me

think not of what's become of me

for you'll be tortured by the thoughts

of my own destructivity.

i dunno it just caught my attention.. among everything else i've written, with all the intense language & subject matter, somehow the simplicity of this one makes it my new favorite. i really like the meter, & i just.. i dunno, i just love it. so.

so apparently "destructivity" isn't a word. i assume this because google is underlining it in red. eh.. that's poetry right? & anyway, i'm supposed to go hang out with my friend. but it's kind of a trek, & i have been working all day, been up since 6 this morning, which is very very early for me now, & my uterus hurts (or whatever it is. quinn & i have already had this conversation...) so i really am just quite torn about it. i really really really need to learn to drive because oh. my. gosh. i can't do this anymore. just thinking about having to walk the like 25 minutes home to my apartment after having worked all day til 11:00 at night does NOT sound like it's gonna be very enjoyable. but at this point i'm not so sure i really have any options.. does the bus run that late? i don't think it does.. the last i believe is at like 10:45 or something. :( this is very upsetting. don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me.. so guess what? i also use the ellipsis & the 2-dot-ellipsis thingie (is there a term for that?) really a lot. just an observation. all right, apparently i have nothing to say.. you can just have that poem instead of my thoughts. i don't really seem to know what i think right now.. i'm kind of sad. & i miss my boy. & i guess that's it.

the sun will always shine. (unless it explodes or something & causes the "day after tomorrow" effect.)