i am fucking angry.

i have been all morning. i have been for a long time. i am full of pissed-the-fuck-off-ness. i swear i am so fucking mad. why am i so angry, you inquire? what has happened to make me the maddest, most intimidating, most pathetic kristi ever? well i can't tell you. sorry. i have no god damn fucking clue. but i'm sure fucking angry as fuck! i had a very upsetting dream this morning which irked me really a lot, & i may have forgotten to take my pills last night, but i'm pretty sure i did take them, & my period just ended so it's not that either. but i am just so god damn MAD!!! frustrated & worked up & pent up & who the fuck knows what else. i am so fucking pissed i can't even get past it. i'm fucking pissed, then i'm pissed about the reasons i'm fucking pissed, & it just continues in this vicious fucking pissed off fucking circle. it's fucking driving me fucking crazy. i mean, what the fuck am i supposed to do if i'm just mad as fuck for no fucking reason? i'm sure there's reasons, but they're stupid or whatever. whatever. i'm fucking pissed. but typing this made me a tiny bit less fucking pissed. so.

i wrote a song.

no, really, i did. & it came out just like this:


i want to scream the loudest scream
jump off the highest rooftop
chomp on broken glass
& floss it out

i want to sing at the top of my lungs
dance like nobody's watching
run around yelling
& then fall down

i'm only here until i'm gone..

i'm restless
feel like i'm gonna burst
cuz i'm restless
couldn't get any worse
cuz i feel like i could fly away
but when i try i just can't stay afloat
i'm restless.

i want to paint on all the walls
play my music way too loud
i wanna lay in bed all day
& SCREAM out!

i'm only here until i'm gone
& then you'll never know
what's become of me
in this cheap reality

i'm restless
feel like i could implode
cuz i'm restless
you don't have to believe me, but i don't know
how i feel
or what's inside
or what i have to offer this life
or what i think
or why i do
the things i do
i guess you'll have to chalk it up
to restlessness

cuz i'm restless
i could burst
restless
couldn't get worse
i feel like i could fly away
but every time i try i just can't stay
afloat
i'm restless..

not so great this time around.

PUT YOUR iPOD ON SHUFFLE AND PRESS > FOR EACH QUESTION. USE THE SONG NAME TO ANSWER THE QUESTION....

How am I feeling today? 
"echo" the hush sound

Will I get far in life? 
"virginia bluebell" miranda lambert

How do my friends see me? 
"falling down" atreyu

Where will I get Married? 
"sorry bunch" the dresden dolls

What is my best friend's theme song? 
"we're not alone" tickle me pink

What is the story of my life? 
"you get me" michelle branch

What is/was highschool like? 
"echoes" pink floyd

How can I get ahead in life? 
"there's nothing" shout out louds

What is the best thing about me? 
"not my idea" garbage

How is today going to be? 
"we walk" the ting tings

What is in store for this weekend? 
"cirrus minor"  pink floyd

What song describes my parents? 
"i bet it stung" tegan & sara

To describe my grandparents? 
"drop n the ocean" michelle branch

How is my life going? 
"born for this" paramore

What song will they play at my funeral? 
"overrated" alexz johnson

How does the world see me? 
"stormy weather" the kooks

Will I have a happy life?
"stuck on you" paramore

What do my friends really think of me? 
"bad boy" alice in videoland

Do people secretly lust after me? 
"california" miranda lambert

How can I make myself happy? 
"crawling towards the sun" the hush sound

What should I do with my life? 
"labyrinths of auxime" pink floyd

Will I ever have children? 
"dogs" pink floyd

What is some good advice for me? 
"pull me in" the kooks

How will I be remembered? 
"money" pink floyd

What is my signature dancing song? 
"wrong" depeche mode

What do I think my current theme song is? 
"paper pieces" michelle branch

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? 
"very loud" shout out louds

What type of men/women do you like? 
"million miles away" the offspring