I don't know what I'm saying!

I dunno what I'm doing either. I dunno what's going on. I'm tired. I'm tired of worrying uselessly about things I can't control. I'm tired of feeling like a rodent on a wheel. I'm tired of not knowing. I'm tired of being young, just as I shall tire of being old. I'm tired of drugs, tired of dependence, addiction, psychological bullshit. Tired of being tired. Tired of wishing & hoping & thinking & praying. Tired also of planning & dreaming, to no avail. I'm tired of not having enough money. Tired of worrying about money. Tired of trying not to base my life around money & continually realizing that's near impossible. Tired of hearing about the present state of things & feeling like there's nothing I can do about it. I'm tired of knowing some things. Tired of learning, tired of working, tired of fighting. Tired of walking & riding the bus & taking the train. Tired of wondering. Tired of focusing. Tired of eating, tired of sleeping, tired of breathing. I'm real fuckin tired.