i decided on a tattoo last night.

an alicey "drink me" bottle on my left inner wrist. it symbolizes so much. it's absolutely perfect. now i just need funding. i'm also hopelessly in love with a boy i can't have. which i suppose isn't exactly a new thing for me. in fact, i have been here before, many times. how can i know whether or not i only want what i can't have? there's no way to know for sure. especially since we're so far apart. & i've already said i can't move there. at least not right now. he won't move here either. what do i know about that place? maybe i should research it & see how i feel.. for the future, ya know. also i think i may be becoming a wino. although after consulting urban dictionary, maybe i'm not. i just like wine. & i'm willing to drink it at practically any time. i'm very worried about this boy. he told me he's going to the hospital now. i feel like i should be there. i love him. i told him so. & i told him not to say it back. i don't think he's in the right place for that right now. did i mention how much i like wine? especially that kung fu girl riesling i just bought for my birthday. it was VERY good. i just finished it. yeah, in the middle of the day. fuck you. & i'm definitely feeling it. you know, i forgot how much i like being intoxicated by alcohol. right now i am riding a very enjoyable buzz. which i feel slightly guilty about because i am babysitting in like an hour or two. but whatever. it should fizzle by then. & after that, like i said, i'm all out. i need a new ID cuz i don't think anyone will take mine now. & i just checked to see if i could do it online, but i can't. bitches. anyway, i'm just sayin. i love wine, i love the boy, & fuck you if you don't like it.