am i the only one who's dissatisfied? (breathe in, breathe out.)

somehow, today managed to be just as bad as yesterday. if not worse.. so bad i don't even feel like talking about it anymore. i just want it aaaaaaaaaaaall to disappear into a cloud of smoke. to be left in my dust. in my wake. behind me. breathe in, breathe out.
i'm quite sore. i'm not exactly sure why. breathe in, breathe out.
i want to know if i'm the only one who's dissatisfied. i find life to be intensely distressing, disheartening, and i can't seem to find the joy anymore.. there are many factors, however, so it's been difficult to decipher my true feelings.. breathe in...
but i wonder whether people, as a race, just walk around unhappy all the time without ever realizing how discontented they are. is this really all there is? will it never get any better than this? supposedly these are the good years. at least i have been made to assume this. that's bullshit. is it true that life sucks and then you die? i feel like there's so much i'm missing. there's SO much out there and i feel like there has to be more to life than this. i sound like i'm listing cliches right now. and i've heard these questions before, but i don't recall ever receiving answers. i suppose that's just the way it is, but that pisses me off. i don't appreciate this lack of information and i plan to extract some. where i will stumble across this knowledge i cannot say, but i had just better, or else...breathe out.
sometimes i think.. what's the point of all of this? why should i care about people? what do people really matter anyway? how come we're supposedly like the superior race or whatever? is this really it? am i just supposed to shut up & take all of this? why are we so self-centered? is that bad? one of my biggest phobias is being self-absorbed and self-centered, but am i pushing myself too far in the other direction? how much should i be thinking about myself? why the hell should i even bother? i just feel like there's SOMETHING BIGGER! what is it? how can i find it? where can i find it, for that matter? what am i supposed to be doing? with my life or myself or everyone else? where do i fall in?
i don't even really like people very much. they're kind of a nuisance. but then when i'm at work or something, i just get into this mode.. human mode i guess. then, i don't worry about bigger things. then, i'm just me & you're just you & this is the way it is & that's it. but i can't help but think.. is there anybody out there? [pink floyd reference]
in the end, all you can do is breathe in, and breathe out.