things are things.

& maybe i'm on an uphill climb for the moment. if i can stay focused on the right things, i should be able to reach the goals i have. i really should just forget about boys altogether.. i need to be good at my job - or i need to find a new one, i have to make sure i'm ready for this trip next month, that i can afford it, i need to make sure i know what the fuck i'm doing career-wise before june, when i have to move.. need to make sure i'm ready for college next semester. & i need to work on voice and piano. i have a feeling it's going to be difficult to think as highly of myself as is probably necessary.. but maybe i'll be able to fake it well enough. i'll take some classes, lessons, read some books... i want to be able to write songs.. it's killing me that i can't. i can't find the words, and i hope school will help. i'll have to start working on vocabulary before then. and spanish, too.. i like the idea of a bilingual song. anyway, that's all i have i guess. i just don't want to only post on here when i need to vent. i'm almost bipolar, so i'm just as happy half the time as i am upset the other half. well.. there are a lot of in-betweens too, but.. whatever. good fucking night. y'all.