i'm too tired to post..

but i had a shit day today & i guess i need to type it out so i can hopefully have a better one tomorrow.
i was supposed to be off today. i had a date tonight at 5. i was very excited & told everyone about it. of course, this morning i get a call from work. i was half-asleep so i didn't answer. their was no voicemail so i kinda drifted in and out of sleep til i got another call. it was work, asking me to come in tonight & close. this was depressing. but sometimes you gotta do what's best for your team, ya know? it's just a date, it can be rescheduled. hopefully it shows that i'm caring & dedicated. anyway, so i call back & say i'll be there at 2 or 2:30. it was already pretty late in the morning, & i just got up & got ready to go. i had a headache already, which did not bode well for the rest of the day, and i didn't eat, because apparently i have a deep-rooted psychological eating disorder which makes me convinced i'm not hungry when i really am. so i didn't. i figured i'd get a chai and hoped the caffeine would knock out my headache. i was feeling really sluggish & slow. & i was shaking, which is very irritating. so anyway, i do all of this, and, seriously, about an hour in i started to feel absolutely terrible. my head felt fuzzy & dizzy & light & it was an unpleasant accompaniment to my still-throbbing-despite-chai headache. so i'm like, i seriously need to sit down or eat or something. then i realize it must be that i need to eat, since i probably hadn't since about 24 hours before that. so i tell brian i gotta take a break & i get a string cheese & a protein drink. 16 grams of protein in that motherfucker, & it didn't help me one damn bit! nannah said a drink doesn't count as food, even with that much protein, because the body digests them differently. that sucks. meanwhile, i am also really struggling with my load there right now. i'm trying, but i'm not doing super amazing. so i'm half starved to death, stressed to the max, & tearing up. which i really fucking hate. it's so frustrating. it's visible in my face, so it's impossible to hide. UGH, being a girl.. anyway, then sean came & sat with me on my lunch, for which i got a burrito that i took maybe 2 bites of. so we talked a bit more about my now-TBA date, because i guess he's curious. or wants to protect me. i dunno. whatever. i had been so overly hungry that now everything sounded disgusting, the burrito looked, smelled, and tasted like it was gonna make me sick. SO irritating, body; thanks a lot! so, like i said, i took about 2 bites, polished off a guava coconut water, & went back to finish my night. i had WAY too fucking much to do and was NOT in a good place to be able to get it done. i'm falling behind definitely. i did accomplish some things tonight, though, which is good. anyway, it was a shitty day overall, but all of them still have their moments. now, i can't technically reschedule with chad until i get my next schedule, which isn't out yet. we'll have to work it out when i get one. he mentioned being with a client today.. i forgot what he does exactly. lol clients.. silly. okay, that's a sign i'm too tired to go on. good fucking night, colorado. see you in the morning.