are you who you choose to be? if you choose to be a certain person, are you choosing to be yourself or to be someone else? how can you tell the difference between just being yourself and being who you want to be? what if you choose to be who you don't want to be? people wear so many masks, no one can ever really know what's beneath the surface. we choose to know what we are told. what our senses tell us is true. but the brain is a dirty rotten liar, ya know. it makes up whatever it wants. who's to say what reality is? what is real? in truth, nothing. ha, but what is truth? apparently everything is nothing. & from humanity's realization that everything is truly nothing, thus sprang forth religion? perhaps. but not for me, i daresay. in a way i suppose i might consider myself content to play only my one insignificant part in this huge unreality. i find it much more comforting to know that i only have to put up with the bullshit for 80 years more, at most, and that i have potentially 80 more years of good stuff to make the rest worth it. i'm okay to be done after that. anyone who knows me well knows i'm a girl who loves to sleep late. i'd sleep forever if i could. oh! & there we go. when it's all said and done, i will sleep forever. alas, i digress...
shouldn't it be effortless to be yourself? isn't that what the term means, essentially? be who you are and don't try to be someone you're not. so can you try to be someone you are? or are you just who you are and that's it? if you decide to be a certain person, does your self change? how can you decipher which part of you is your effortless self and which is your effortful, if you will, self? maybe i should study a little more psychology. and perhaps philosophy as well. or maybe it's just the wine thinking.. whatever. i am who i am. or am i? :P
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